A word that holds so much power. A word that brings fear, shame and pity.
How often do you allow it to control your life?
How often do you feel the need to conform to all of the standard societal “norms” that continue to this day?
It’s easy. It’s so easy to give in to the very idea that perfection comes with clothes. A boyfriend. A girlfriend. Makeup. Cosmetic surgery. Likes. Followers. Facetune. Photoshop- I could go on and on. The list runs tragically deep.
It’s horrifying to know that societal “perfection” is just a tap or knife away. Is this what we’ve come to? Craving affirmation in harmful ways?
I can understand those in the public eye, that take pride in changing who they are (cosmetically) while encouraging others to do the same. It's an instant route to feeling worthy, especially in today's "instant" society.
I can understand those that digitally change their nose or forehead or body. It’s an instant route to feeling worthy.
I can understand those who get a boyfriend or girlfriend to fill a void, an insecurity that only for a second will go away because of compliments and connection. It’s an instant route to feeling worthy.
I wish, with all of my heart, that it didn’t have to be that way.
Insecurity can only be conquered by TRUE self-love and empowerment (and for me, it was also Jesus, but that’s a story for another time). By kindness- kindness not only to others, but to ourselves.
Loving who you are- body, mind and soul- is one of the most important choices you will ever have to make. It’s a choice that comes with responsibility, understanding, and compassion. It’s a JOURNEY. And it’s HARD. If it was easy, I wouldn’t be talking about it!
So many people are starting to take “self-love” out of it’s natural context. Some have taken it so far to the point where they believe that self-love is “self-absorption”, and sadly, society deems this as “confident” and “healthy”. A lot of people now choose to put themselves over others, believing it’s a facet of self-love, while society deems this as “confident” and “healthy”. Self-love cannot consist of pride and absorption- love, itself, cannot be any of those things. Love is pure, humble, and patient. Self-love has lost its true meaning in a multitude of ways.
TRUE self-love has to start with humility and understanding. With knowing YOURSELF. It’s about diving into who you are as a being, choosing to accept all that you are and thriving in it. It’s understanding your gifts, your character, your body, your appearance, interests, choices- all of the things that make you who you are. It’s far beyond skin, with skin. It’s about your truth- accepting the things you cannot change, and choosing to love them anyways. You ARE more than skin and a pretty face, and you ARE your skin and pretty face. Each face, each body- every size, color, eye shape, nose shape, etc. is uniquely beautiful in it’s OWN way.
You are all that you are, and that is beautiful. It’s so easy to forget that in a superficial, standardized world.
How can you love yourself?
I don’t have all of the answers. I struggle, too. But one thing I do know, is that TRUE self-love is a CHOICE. You have a choice- whether it be to love yourself, or to hate yourself- it’s ultimately up to you to change your mind and perspective. Life right now, is so hard. It’s been so hard for so many different people since the beginning of time- and NOW, we have all of these things that can grant instant affirmation, but it’s not lasting. It’s more harmful than helpful.
By loving yourself, you are choosing to live in pure FREEDOM. To live without fear and sadness. To live without insecurity.
A life consisting of true love, TRUE self-love, is a life full of joy- and who doesn’t want that? THAT is pure enlightenment.
This topic is what my upcoming song, "Blue", is about. I wrote this song (and blog post hehe) hoping that you'd be able to find peace and comfort in all that you are. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find what you are looking for, and I hope you choose to love your true and natural self.
remembered who she was
and the game
- Lalah Deliah
With so much love,